There she comes from the turning at Akbar Road. It is this cool December evening when you feel everything is fresh. The chilly breeze when gushes past your face, leave alone uncles, people like me tend to enjoy the most. Sometimes I feel winter should be the only season. And sometimes, spring defines me the best! Insane is the word for me. Anyways, leaving the definition of Sam, that’s me; let’s concentrate on the lovely lady riding the chick-red-peppy Scooty Pepp. She comes… goes past me… I am left unnoticed…

I think she looks beautiful. No, I know. Having seen inside out, that night, I now know she looks great, with and without clothes!

It was that wonderful night when the virgins cracked almost cracking open the bed underneath it. A hot erotic scene when two bodies were joined in the middle, Newton too failed to explain the force-science behind it. A desperate attempt to feel the truth, that said, “I love you baby…” some 3 months back!

Aah! Don’t ask me how I met her and ended up ‘on’ bed. It was my birthday. A virgo, I am, I sometimes celebrate the day on Septemeber 14th with lots of chicken and dreams of chicks. Being an internet-browsing psycho, I gathered some 150 different species of flowers from the internet and spent two whole month’s salary, just because her friend once said, “she loves flowers.” And to try out a cheeky line, I ended up saying, ‘You can forget about going to heaven because it’s a sin to look that good’. And she loved it! Aah!

That one night changed everything for me. There was nothing called ‘our’ till then. ‘Our’ future.. ‘Our’ career, ‘Our’ dreams, ‘Our’ parents, ‘Our’ family and everything else transformed form ‘your’ to ‘our’.. The pessimist-she changed to optimist-she and in between, the optimist-me changed to realist-me! The change and the refreshing feeling in the relationship didn’t go well down my neck, leave alone the burning sensation at ‘some-inch’ below! I can’t understand why the moods change just after you crack open the beer can? Just before that, you rush to the theka to buy, decided to get drunk. Just after, ‘what will happen if she comes to know that am boozing?’.. ‘What will happen to mumma when she come to know that her son is in bad company?’.. And most relevant among the mood-swings is, “Why she did this to me…” And that can be carried forward with another 5 cans and a half mug of Vodka! (I wonder there’s a little bit of Vijay Mallya in every heartbreak!)

Yes, we broke up exactly ten nights after that night. She calls me a hysterical freak with overtly realistic views and I somehow sweep through with a ‘bitch’ although it sounds like ‘baby’ sometimes! She hates me and I hate the ten minutes ‘on’ bed that ripped apart the whole idea of love.

‘Refresh and refrain from thinking too much…’ screams Rahul. He is a long time friend, very different from me although. He had many ‘on’ bed moments in life but never dared to think after the poles cease to attract. For him, zipping and zapping has been the mantra with relationships. For me, it fucking and sulking! He calls me an emotional freak with a cock’s tail that needs to be cut short. I still can’t find logic in the ‘cock’s tail’ comment! Is it somehow related to pride and self belief?

Nisha, name changed, thinks me a no-one-exists-nearby creature. Avoid-him-so-that-he-hates-himself-for-being-a-mad-asshole is her idea about me, if that all exists somewhere. I just know I should not stretch this any further. She hates me today.. will realize someday…

The realist-me thinks a lot these days. I want to be a Rahul. But, thoughts pull me back. I want to leave live at the moment, forgetting the x, y, and z’s that’s slated to come. I want to zip, zap and zoom… I am a bit touchy.. Is that my fault?